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" All I could see was the MLB letterhead and a scrawled signature. I wondered if he signed all his letters "Bud." Up to you," I said, resisting the urge to swallow the lump in my throat or cough it up and spit. The ghost of Christmas past was about to visit, I feared. I could hear the chains clanking.He rocked back in his chair while I thought of Marley's ghost."He says you beat up your wife and threatened your kid. You do that?" Yep," I said, tasting bile and nodding. "I was drunk." You still drinking?" Jepperson asked, lowering his eyebrows, tucking in his chin and trying to look mean or serious or something despite the fact that his face was baby-like and his voice made him sound like an adolescent. His Florida tan barely colored his pink skin."Beer," I said. "Now and then." Can you quit?" he asked."Probably," I said, nodding. "I was downing a quart of booze every day back then, and I stopped doing that." Mr. Harder does not like you, says you're a wise guy and too damn old, bad. "Okay, Girl, that's it," he said after I had put on a skirt andblouse. "You are now completely dressed. Oh...except for heels, ofcourse. And maybe a wig. But all the essentials are there. Now...how does it feel?" Very peculiar...but nice. But you know, I feel everything squeezingme and pulling at me. The bra, the garter belt... It's...kind ofnice." That's the real test, Eric. All that pulling and tugging is the onething that will never let you forget you're dressed. Are you goingto like it? Are you going to like being reminded, every minute, thatyou're wearing women's clothes? You can talk all you want aboutpanties and skirts, about dresses and bras, but if you don't enjoy allthose little discomforts that keep reminding you of what you have on,you aren't a crossdresser."I guess that meant I was.As that fact gradually sunk in and I realized how I loved it, I beganto appreciate how neatly Chris had handled the whole thing. I hadlistened patiently to all his lectures about.
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